Two things especially stood out to me in today's readings. The first:
"he shall bring forth justice to the nations,
Not crying out, not shouting,
not making his voice heard in the street."
This depicts a quiet, humble leadership. It conjures up thoughts of loud evangelists screaming about repenting for our sins, or those people who stand outside of abortion clinics condemning the women who enter. In yesterday's entry, I wrote of how "a word to rouse the people" was appealing to me, and while this verse seems like it contradicts that one, I don't think it needs to. I think you can speak humbly and say things that inspire and encourage other people and rouse their spirits. Jesus did this. In all of the gospels, whenever he corrects a sinner, he speaks humbly and patiently, but honestly. And that brings me to the second part that stood out to me:
"You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me."
Wow. Did Jesus just say that? Well, yes. He said it to Judas because he knew Judas' deceitful intentions, He wasn't saying that we shouldn't help the poor. However, I do think He was also calling to attention the fact that, without prayer, charitable works are lacking. We should always strive to help others, and I think atheists can be great people who love to help others, too. But a large part of being a Christian who helps others is to root all of our acts in a love for God. We come to love Him through getting to know Him in prayer. Therefore, spending time with Jesus is essential to serving others.
I think Jesus was definitely rebuking Judas for what he said, but I don't think it was in a "crying out shouting" kind of way. I think he was trying to express the importance of the Mary's actions and was probably frustrated by Judas' greed (and approaching betrayal). The Jesus in John's gospel seems more short-tempered than the Jesus depicted in some of the other gospels. Nonetheless, He is not angrily calling out Judas right there on the spot for being a greedy sinner. Instead, He corrects him by re-focusing on what is important, not on the mistake that was made. That's an amazing skill that I, for one, really need to practice. Gosh, we can learn so much about how to have better communication and relationships through Jesus' example.
Lord, thank You for Your amazing example of someone who lovingly calls us to something greater. Thank You for desiring time with us, and help us to desire that time, too, even when we are busy. Help us also to be humble leaders, as You were. Amen.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Sunday, April 1, 2012
The Authentic Self
"The Lord GOD has given me
a well-trained tongue,
that I might know how to speak to the weary
a word that will rouse them."
When I read the readings for today, this phrase stood out to me. I think it's because this is something I really want. I like to believe that my energy and extraversion and desire for leadership is good for something, and that maybe my enthusiasm will be contagious.
I used to be really enthusiastic about seemingly everything. I was known for my bubbly nature; friends described me as the "happiest person ever". It was kinda fun. However, since coming to grad school, I feel like that bubbliness has slipped away. It comes out every now and then, and I don't doubt that people think I'm extraverted, but I feel like I've lost a little bit of that excitement.
This Lent, I have been trying to get back in touch with positivity, and I think I have definitely made some progress. However, I know I still let stress get me down, and I get so tired sometimes that I just don't have the energy to pour into anything, let alone to excite others.
And as I'm writing this, I'm thinking back to what Father Michael said to me in confession. He talked about Lazarus in the tomb, and how Jesus was calling out for him to Rise, and come out, and how God is saying that to me...for me to let my authentic self out. Since that day, I've been pondering, "Well, who IS my authentic self?" And I think this is it. That bubbly, positive, and enthusiastic girl is who I actually am, who I was created to be, and stress stifles it. It comes out when I'm doing something that God is calling me to, like working with the elderly. In those moments, I feel truly alive. And that is what indicates to me that that IS my authentic self. Because it comes out when I am following God's will.
I'm not going to fool myself. I can't ALWAYS be bursting with excitement about everything. That would seem really ingenuine, and that is not always appropriate. And it's okay for me to get tired sometimes. I just think this negativity and stress that I've been wearing is not me. So I'm going to strive to clear out the debris, climb out of the tomb, and let my true self shine, just as Jesus will shine in all his glory in a few days, on Easter.
I pray that God might rouse the weary in me, and help me to come alive with a renewed spirit of joy. Easter is a time of rebirth and new life - I pray that this might be a time of new life for all of us.
a well-trained tongue,
that I might know how to speak to the weary
a word that will rouse them."
When I read the readings for today, this phrase stood out to me. I think it's because this is something I really want. I like to believe that my energy and extraversion and desire for leadership is good for something, and that maybe my enthusiasm will be contagious.
I used to be really enthusiastic about seemingly everything. I was known for my bubbly nature; friends described me as the "happiest person ever". It was kinda fun. However, since coming to grad school, I feel like that bubbliness has slipped away. It comes out every now and then, and I don't doubt that people think I'm extraverted, but I feel like I've lost a little bit of that excitement.
This Lent, I have been trying to get back in touch with positivity, and I think I have definitely made some progress. However, I know I still let stress get me down, and I get so tired sometimes that I just don't have the energy to pour into anything, let alone to excite others.
And as I'm writing this, I'm thinking back to what Father Michael said to me in confession. He talked about Lazarus in the tomb, and how Jesus was calling out for him to Rise, and come out, and how God is saying that to me...for me to let my authentic self out. Since that day, I've been pondering, "Well, who IS my authentic self?" And I think this is it. That bubbly, positive, and enthusiastic girl is who I actually am, who I was created to be, and stress stifles it. It comes out when I'm doing something that God is calling me to, like working with the elderly. In those moments, I feel truly alive. And that is what indicates to me that that IS my authentic self. Because it comes out when I am following God's will.
I'm not going to fool myself. I can't ALWAYS be bursting with excitement about everything. That would seem really ingenuine, and that is not always appropriate. And it's okay for me to get tired sometimes. I just think this negativity and stress that I've been wearing is not me. So I'm going to strive to clear out the debris, climb out of the tomb, and let my true self shine, just as Jesus will shine in all his glory in a few days, on Easter.
I pray that God might rouse the weary in me, and help me to come alive with a renewed spirit of joy. Easter is a time of rebirth and new life - I pray that this might be a time of new life for all of us.
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